This is not going to be a long post, but I just wanted to jot down some key points from my class this week. We have been talking about dating with the mindset of BEING married rather than GETTING married. There are a few stages that we should go through before getting married.
1. Dating: many different activities with several different people, we should go on a lot of dates with different people every time. This helps us socialize and prepares us for marriage. There are 3 P's of dating
Paired off this prepares men to Protect
Paid for this prepares men to Provide
Planned this prepares men to Preside
2. Courting: Once we know about what we want we can start courting, which is doing a variety of activities with one person. You should do as many different activities as you can so that you can find out this person's character.
3. Engagement: When you know that this is the person you want to be with then get engaged. This should be the hardest part of this process.
4. Marriage: Only after you are married should you move in together and combine two lives into one. If you have done all of the steps before this, your marriage will have the best chance of lasting.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
GENDER ROLES
There are differences between males and females that help make a better family life. Men and women behave differently and have different tendencies. These tendencies help them to accomplish their roles as mothers and fathers. Let me show you.
Roles Tendencies
female male female male
*nurturing *provide *emotionally aware *task oriented
*serving *protect *communication *aggressive
*emotional *preside *eye contact *spacial oriented
intelligence *relationship oriented
Now let me explain. Men tend to be more aggressive, task and spacial oriented. How do those help him better fit his roles as provider, protector, and the one who presides? Some of them are obvious, if he is more aggressive he can be a better protector. I'm not talking about abusive men, but when his family is in danger he can bring out his aggression and make them safe. It could also be aggressive in work or their faith, they will work harder and try better to fill their callings in their church if they are aggressive. Men are also more task oriented. When they are at work they are thinking of work, when they are at home they're thinking of home. Isn't that the way we ladies want it to be?
Women have the tendencies to be more emotionally aware, better communicators, and are relationship oriented. That helps us in our roles as mothers to nurture and serve our children and offer them emotional support. Women can usually tell if someone else is having a bad day or someone just needs their help with something. That's what makes them better nurturers and servers. They are generally more aware of a lot of things so they can keep track of where their children are, what to make for dinner, what needs done around the house, who has what appointment.
Men and women combine to make the best setting for raising children. They are supposed to be different, it's a good thing. Since they are different we can have two specialists in the home. If they were the same the children of this world would turn out lacking so many things. They wouldn't get the lessons they need in order to survive our world.
Roles Tendencies
female male female male
*nurturing *provide *emotionally aware *task oriented
*serving *protect *communication *aggressive
*emotional *preside *eye contact *spacial oriented
intelligence *relationship oriented
Now let me explain. Men tend to be more aggressive, task and spacial oriented. How do those help him better fit his roles as provider, protector, and the one who presides? Some of them are obvious, if he is more aggressive he can be a better protector. I'm not talking about abusive men, but when his family is in danger he can bring out his aggression and make them safe. It could also be aggressive in work or their faith, they will work harder and try better to fill their callings in their church if they are aggressive. Men are also more task oriented. When they are at work they are thinking of work, when they are at home they're thinking of home. Isn't that the way we ladies want it to be?
Women have the tendencies to be more emotionally aware, better communicators, and are relationship oriented. That helps us in our roles as mothers to nurture and serve our children and offer them emotional support. Women can usually tell if someone else is having a bad day or someone just needs their help with something. That's what makes them better nurturers and servers. They are generally more aware of a lot of things so they can keep track of where their children are, what to make for dinner, what needs done around the house, who has what appointment.
Men and women combine to make the best setting for raising children. They are supposed to be different, it's a good thing. Since they are different we can have two specialists in the home. If they were the same the children of this world would turn out lacking so many things. They wouldn't get the lessons they need in order to survive our world.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
WHY HAVE A FAMILY?
For me there are certain purposes of a family:
Bring children into the world
Help people become more like God
Teach gospel truths
Families are designed to bring children into the world through the bonds of marriage. That is why there is a man and a woman. They are both needed to have and raise children. Children learn skills from both the mother and the father. Through the mother, children learn kindness, helpfulness, creativeness, love, spiritualness, organization... Through the father they learn determination, hard work, to try new things, power of the priesthood... Both of the parents teach respect and communication skills. Elder Robert D. Hales in his Conference talk "The Eternal Family" states that "the home is where we are nurtured and where we prepare ourselves for living in mortality."
Families are designed to help people become more Godlike. Elder David A. Bednar said that "the natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other." Men and women were designed to be different so that they could assist each other in the journey to exaltation. President Kimball once said something along the lines of, they are different enough that they can compliment each other, but alike enough that they can understand each other. We shouldn't envy the differences between them, we should understand the beautiful basics in the differences and act accordingly. In another class I have we were talking about Moses 1:39 "For behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass immortality and the eternal life of man." We talked about how women are needed for the immortality part and men are needed for the eternal life part. Without them both we would not get anywhere. Men and women are to complete each other not compete with each other.
Families are supposed to teach gospel truths. Not just gospel truths but every truths. Parent's cannot just send their children to school or to church and expect them to learn what's important. That's the parent's job. Parents need to teach their children the basics in life and give them a solid foundation where they can build off of. Then church and school or any other places can build on the knowledge the children already have.
Without the family our society would perish.
Bring children into the world
Help people become more like God
Teach gospel truths
Families are designed to bring children into the world through the bonds of marriage. That is why there is a man and a woman. They are both needed to have and raise children. Children learn skills from both the mother and the father. Through the mother, children learn kindness, helpfulness, creativeness, love, spiritualness, organization... Through the father they learn determination, hard work, to try new things, power of the priesthood... Both of the parents teach respect and communication skills. Elder Robert D. Hales in his Conference talk "The Eternal Family" states that "the home is where we are nurtured and where we prepare ourselves for living in mortality."
Families are designed to help people become more Godlike. Elder David A. Bednar said that "the natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other." Men and women were designed to be different so that they could assist each other in the journey to exaltation. President Kimball once said something along the lines of, they are different enough that they can compliment each other, but alike enough that they can understand each other. We shouldn't envy the differences between them, we should understand the beautiful basics in the differences and act accordingly. In another class I have we were talking about Moses 1:39 "For behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass immortality and the eternal life of man." We talked about how women are needed for the immortality part and men are needed for the eternal life part. Without them both we would not get anywhere. Men and women are to complete each other not compete with each other.
Families are supposed to teach gospel truths. Not just gospel truths but every truths. Parent's cannot just send their children to school or to church and expect them to learn what's important. That's the parent's job. Parents need to teach their children the basics in life and give them a solid foundation where they can build off of. Then church and school or any other places can build on the knowledge the children already have.
Without the family our society would perish.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
THANK YOU MOM AND DAD
I have never really appreciated my family as much as I should. While I was in class today I realized that my family is so amazing. We were talking about family dynamics and I heard so many things that I thought were alarming, but most everyone else passed off as being "normal". My classmates were talking about how their parents are divorced, and how they live with one of their parents, or how their siblings and them fight a lot. It was weird to me. Let me tell you about the dynamics of my family. My parents are always in charge, they work together as a team. My dad usually has the final say in something, but the major decisions are made together. My siblings and I got along the vast majority of the time. I only ever remember fighting with my younger brother, usually about meaningless things and we got over it an hour or so later. We all enjoyed family vacations even when it meant fitting all nine of us in our suburban to drive for hours. One time I remember my dad went to go rent a motor home and he was talking to the dealer and the dealer was surprised that my dad was going to have all of us drive around the country together. However, when my dad told us about this encounter all of us thought it was weird that the dealer was so surprised.
Of course we aren't the perfect family and there have maybe been a few rifts here and there. I do remember as I was growing up that I wished I had the "best friend" mom that other girls I knew had, but looking back I am so glad that wasn't the case. My mom was my leader, and my rock, someone I could look up to. I always had other friends, but I only had one person that I could base my life on. I think the reason that my family is so close and functional is that my parents based rearing their children on values and principles of the Gospel. Every morning before school (sometimes insanely early) we would read have scripture study as a family, then we would have family prayer, and then we would eat breakfast together (a real breakfast: pancakes, eggs, french toast, biscuits, oatmeal, we only got cereal on Sundays). My parents did this every morning without fail. We also ate dinner as a family and had family prayer at night before we went to bed. My parents also regularly attended the temple.
I don't mean to brag about my family, but they are awesome. Since it's Mother's Day weekend I thought it was only fitting to tell my parents and even my siblings that I love them and that I am so glad I was put into this family. Thank you mom and dad for raising me with a solid foundation.
Of course we aren't the perfect family and there have maybe been a few rifts here and there. I do remember as I was growing up that I wished I had the "best friend" mom that other girls I knew had, but looking back I am so glad that wasn't the case. My mom was my leader, and my rock, someone I could look up to. I always had other friends, but I only had one person that I could base my life on. I think the reason that my family is so close and functional is that my parents based rearing their children on values and principles of the Gospel. Every morning before school (sometimes insanely early) we would read have scripture study as a family, then we would have family prayer, and then we would eat breakfast together (a real breakfast: pancakes, eggs, french toast, biscuits, oatmeal, we only got cereal on Sundays). My parents did this every morning without fail. We also ate dinner as a family and had family prayer at night before we went to bed. My parents also regularly attended the temple.
I don't mean to brag about my family, but they are awesome. Since it's Mother's Day weekend I thought it was only fitting to tell my parents and even my siblings that I love them and that I am so glad I was put into this family. Thank you mom and dad for raising me with a solid foundation.
Friday, May 3, 2013
CHILDREN ARE AN HERITAGE
One of the problems in today's world is that people think it is their responsibility to inform a couple about the problems that can happen during pregnancy and that there is no need to have children at all and if they do have children to only have one or two. That if they do want children to wait until after they have finished schooling, have a career, and do whatever else because after having children their life is going to be over. My sister posted THIS on Facebook and I thought it was awesome and it goes right along with my thoughts today. It explains the need to not listen to those people so eloquently.
My thoughts on this is that no one should have any say in a couple's childbearing decisions except the couple and God. For my own family, I want to have as many children as God blesses me and my husband with. I want nothing more than to stay at home with my children and teach them and learn from them. I think that once we realize that our children came from God and are His children that He has given to us for this temporary amount of time, they will not be a burden that we have to deal with instead they will be a blessing.
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