BOUNDARIES

It is important for the husband and wife to set clear boundaries around their little family unit, even before they're married and after they start having children. To begin with the couple should plan their wedding in a way that will prepare them for their married life. For example, the husband and wife should plan their wedding together and make all of the decisions together. This will help them set a clear boundary around them as a couple. They should also only focus on what is important with the wedding and not having a super extravagant one, this will help them learn budgeting and keep them out of debt to their parents. Also when a couple starts having children it can put a lot of strain on their marriage. There is something called "gatekeeping" that we talk a lot about in my child development classes which is where when the baby is born the mother becomes in control of everything and makes all the decisions, this forces the dad to fall into the background and then it just becomes a cycle where the dad doesn't participate much which makes the mom make more decisions and force the dad out which makes him participate less. In conclusion; it's a bad thing. However, couples can work around that. They can keep the boundary around themselves solid, even when their children start coming. They can do this by having the dad participate in the doctors appointments, and birthing classes, and the woman can talk about what's happening in her and how she's feeling about it with her husband.